We all know her – that person who attends networking events like they were at a family picnic. She’s easy going, knows what to say, includes a splash of humour and has the perfect introduction. She’s completely in her element amongst all these strangers, seems to know everyone and everyone wants to know her.

Think she comes by it naturally? Think again.

There’s a common misconception that some lucky people are born with natural networking abilities – they are outgoing, confident experts right from the beginning — and that the rest of us have to suffer through the 20 second informercials and mangled mingling. I’ve been accused of being a ‘natural’ many times. NOT! All of my networking skills have come from learning, practice and learning some more.

The reality is that although some people may appear to have natural traits that lend themselves to networking, successful connecting is not a matter of genetics.

Here’s the scoop to networking and connecting:

1. Networking is a SKILL – not a personality trait.
You may have been frustrated by networking because you’ve felt inadequate in the outgoing or confident ‘department’. Yes, certain personalities may find it a bit easier to talk to strangers but with practice, you can talk to strangers too. Connecting is a skill that can be acquired and practiced until you master it.

2. Networking can be LEARNED.
Just like reading, talking, and eating with a knife and fork – networking is not something you are born knowing how to do. You LEARN through observation, trial and error, and through education and instruction. (Some people still haven’t figured out that eating and talking are two separate actions and should not be done together. Just sayin’…)

3. Networking should be PERSONALIZED
Perhaps you’ve tried a bunch of approaches to networking that are in that ‘fake it til you make it’ category. I don’t know about you, but trying to be something other than myself feels phony. There is no cookie-cutter, “one-size-fits-all” way to connect with others. We all have different personalities, styles and preferences so our connecting strategy needs to resonate with who we are, our strengths and what works for each one of us. Everyone needs an “Intriguing Introduction“.

Whatever your reason for feeling that networking just doesn’t work for you, I encourage you to reframe it. Customize your networking to fit your personal style and business goals. It’s OK to let others know that networking is hard for you. Chances are you’ve just voiced their own thoughts! Make a commitment to learn and practice connection strategies that resonate with who you are and how you like to relate to others. When you do, you just might actually ENJOY networking instead of dreading it!

Now Go Get  Connected!

An award-winning Leader, Entrepreneur and Business Development Consultant, Cathy teaches entrepreneurs how to increase their influence; build their business and stay sane while doing it. She helps you to let go of limiting beliefs to “Stand Up, Stand Out & Step Forward” for business success. Named one of the Top Ten Mentors by StartUp Canada, Cathy is recognized across the country for her expertise on “All Things Small Biz”. She is the Founder of The Connected Woman Association, is a Director on the Board of WeBC (formerly the Women’s Enterprise Centre), author of numerous books and articles specifically the internationally known “Daily Espressos- Your Read it and Delete it Kickstart to Your Day”, and is a networking maven. (whew!)

For information on upcoming workshops, business coaching or to engage Cathy as a Keynote speaker at your next event, visit www.cathykuzel.com